Fancy being an armpit sniffer, Mosquito bite victim, sewer diver or marine snot collector? No? We didn't think so

你是不是经常抱怨自己的工作无聊?不过且慢，如果你知道世界上有哪些工作最差，你可能会感激上苍。英国《镜报》就为我们盘点了一番全球最糟糕工作。

Talk about a boring job... Thomas Curwen watches paint dry for a living. The Dulux scientist from Twyford, Berks, 34, checks how the colour of matt and emulsion changes over time on walls and under microscopes.

谈到有什么工作无聊透顶，34岁的托马斯柯温的工作应该算一个。他成天盯着刚刷的油漆变干，作为多乐士专业涂料的一名科学家，他要检查墙上或者显微镜下的油漆颜色如何随时间变化。

If you think that sounds a bit dry, just wait. We’ve found there a many worse ways to earn a living around the world...

如果觉得这够无聊，那还是等等再下结论，我们在全球找到了许多槽糕的工作，先来一睹为快。

Armpit sniffer

嗅腋窝

Getting a whiff of BO may sound like the pits, but it’s all in a day’s work for Peta Jones.

闻些狐臭的味道听起来不那么爽，不过，佩塔?琼斯成天就干这种活。

She works as a deodorant producer for Unilever in Australia, developing the Dove, Lynx and Impulse brands.A big part of her job is sniffing strangers’ armpits to check her products’ work.

琼斯是澳大利亚联合利华集团的除臭剂生产者，多芬(Dove)凌仕(Lynx)和Impulse等就是联合利华旗下品牌。她工作的主要内容就是嗅陌生人的腋窝，以检验产品功效。

Peta said: “It was strange at first, but in a week it was fine.”

“刚开始这很奇怪，但干一个星期就好了。”佩塔说。

Crime-scene cleaners

清理犯罪现场

CSI may be a morbid hit with TV viewers, but there is nothing entertaining about cleaning up a crime scene after a death.

犯罪现场调查对电视观众来说不亚于打鸡血，不过，死人后的犯罪现场清理就真的让人唯恐避之不及了。

Married couple Mike Nestved and Carmen Velazquez, above, clear up after bodies in Orlando, Florida – the worst being one in a hot caravan. Carmen said: “There are some things you can’t just Febreze.”

已婚夫妇如迈克?奈斯特韦兹和卡门?贝拉斯克斯的工作就是清理佛罗里达州奥兰多市的死人后现场，最糟糕的情况是在炙热的拖车中。

Crocodile trainer

鳄鱼训练员

We’ve all worked with snappy colleagues, but putting your head in a crocodile’s mouth should attract danger money.

我们或许都跟敏捷的同事一起工作过，但把头放在鳄鱼的嘴里感觉怎么样?

Yet trainers at Pattaya Crocodile Farm, Thailand, get just ￡4 per day for their work. Another stunt involves kissing a giant croc on its nose. Ian Maclean, who filmed the show during a trip to the zoo, said: “One of the performers had his head crushed while locked in the jaws of a croc.”

这并非惊悚大片，而是谋生计的一种手段。在泰国芭堤雅鳄鱼农场，这样的工作薪水只有每天4英镑(约42元人民币)。此外，训练员还有一项“绝技”，就是亲吻一只大鳄鱼的脖子。

Mosquito bite victim

主动让蚊子咬

Helge Zieler has a job that really sucks – letting himself get bitten by mosquitoes. Working in the Brazilian rainforest, he offered himself as bait so he could study the bugs’ behaviour.

黑尔格?齐勒的工作那才叫糟糕——请蚊子来咬自己。他在巴西热带雨林工作，为了研究蚊子的行为，他不惜“献身”，自己化身诱饵吸引蚊子。

But despite once suffering a debilitating bout of malaria, he says: “The beauty of the rainforest far outweighs the thousands of mosquito bites.”

虽然齐勒曾因此而遭到了疟疾的苦楚，但他依然兴奋地表示：“对我来说，几千只蚊子的叮咬与热带雨林的美丽相比远远不算什么。”

Pet food taster

品尝宠物食品

This is not just pet food – this is the ultimate in Marks & Spencer dog and cat cuisine.Every dish in the store’s luxury range has been tested by Simon Allison, above.

玛莎百货的每一道猫和狗的“菜肴”都已由西蒙?艾利森品尝过。

He said: “I love my job – but draw the line at swallowing.”

他说：“我热爱我的工作，但底线是吞咽。”

Simon chews gum after sittings to stop, er, dog breath.

休息的时候，西蒙咀嚼着口香糖，呃，太难吃了。

Sewer diver

下水道潜水员

We all think our job stinks from time to time, but it really does for Julio Cu Camara.He swims through sewers in Mexico City to clear blockages and repair pipes by hand.

我们常常抱怨我们的工作糟透了，但朱利奥?卡马拉的工作才叫烂。他每天在墨西哥城的下水道“畅游”数小时，用双手清理管道堵塞。

Julio, below, has notched up 1,400 dives in 30 years – each one lasting up to six hours in 7,500 miles of tunnels.He has to wear a 6.4 stone helmet and suit to protect him from the human, chemical and animal waste – and its stench.

朱利奥30年里共“潜水”1400次，每次都持续6个小时，在下水道游走的长度7500英里。为了不让自己被人为的、化学的和动物的“废料”及其散发的恶臭所污染，他不得不戴着头盔。

Julio has found horses, pigs, guns and “cigarette butts to car parts, furn-iture and fridges. You ask how it got there.”But of one thing he is certain: “The worst thing of all to find is a human.”

朱利奥找到过马尸,死猪，枪支，烟头，汽车零部件，家具和电冰箱。但他说，最倒霉的是在下水道找到的是人。

Watching grass grow

看着草生长

If watching paint dry sounds too exhilarating, you could take a leaf out of Helen Southall’s book.

如果说看着油漆干似乎还有点意思，你可以扯下海伦?索撒尔的一页书看看。

The grass expert works at British Seed Houses in Lincoln, where her daily duties include counting out and planting 400 seed samples.Later, she goes through them blade by blade to monitor growth.

这位草评专家在林肯大学的英国种子会社(British Seed Houses)工作，她的日常职责包括计数和种植400颗种子样本。然后，她开始一片一片叶子监控草地生长。

Helen said: “People think that it’s strange when I tell them my job is to watch grass grow.“But it’s fascinating. I wouldn’t do anything else. It’s so rewarding to see a stretch of perfect grass.”

“当我告诉别人我的工作是盯着草地生长时，他们都认为这不可思议。但这项工作很有魅力，我无需做其他事情。看着一片完美草坪慢慢伸展很值得。”海伦说。

Whale snot collector

收集鲸鱼的鼻涕

“There she blows” may be the traditional cry for whale spotters but marine biologist Karina Acevedo-Whitehouse gives it a new meaning.She flies a remote-controlled helicopter fitted with a culture dish through the billows of mucus whales eject from their blowhole, above, then analyses it for viruses and bacteria.Karina, from the Zoological Society of London, says: “It can be quite dangerous.”

很多看到鲸鱼的人一般会惊叫：“它在那喷气”。不过，伦敦动物学会的海洋生物学家卡琳娜?阿塞韦多?怀特豪斯给了它新的含义。她操纵着一架装载有培养皿的遥控直升机，在鲸鱼从其喷水孔喷出的翻滚的粘液中穿梭搜集样本，然后用来分析病毒和细菌。卡琳娜说：“这有时候相当危险。”

And now for the best jobs...

看过了差的工作，我们再来看看世界上最好的工作：

Andrew Smith, left, won a contest to become the “Chief Funster” for New South Wales in Australia. The Californian’s job is to have as much fun as possible to promote the region, which includes driving with Top Gear star The Stig.

他的工作内容是尽可能为该地区带来更多欢乐，包括与英国Top Gear汽车节目中的“试替哥”(The Stig)一起开车。

In March, luxury tour company VeryFirstTo advertised for a reviewer to spend a year visiting some of the world’s most expensive resorts on a trip worth more than ￡600,000. One of the destinations was Sir Richard Branson’s Caribbean retreat Necker Island.

3月，奢华旅游公司“VeryFirstTo”招聘一位评论员，他的工作职责是花一年时间游览一些世界上最昂贵的度假圣地，其中包括理查德?布兰森爵士迁居的加勒比海内克尔岛。完成这一趟旅行要花60万英镑以上。

Five years ago, Ben Southall, right, from Petersfield, Hants, won “the best job in the world” as caretaker of Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef. This the role even came with a salary of ￡70,000 for six months.

5年前，本?索撒尔赢得了“世界上最好的工作”——澳大利亚大堡礁汉密尔顿岛的“护岛人”。白白享受风光还不算，他的工资也高达半年7万英镑。

Internet TV network Netflix is looking for a “tagger” who will be paid to watch its best films and TV shows and help categorise them so that it can provide viewers withmore accurate recommendations.

安德鲁?史密斯，澳大利亚新南威尔士州“首席幽默家”，在线影片租赁提供商“网飞公司”正在招募这样一个员工，他可以拿薪水看该公司最好的电影和电视剧，并帮助分门别类，给观众提供更准确的建议。